I knew it would happen some day . But not today. He’s still squishy and has chubby hands. He still has me wipe his tiny butt and kiss him goodnight.
It was a usual chaotic morning. Dragging the two younger ones out of bed. Diaper changes , and force feeding them at least two bites of oatmeal. I’m not hungry , I’m not hungry. Can I have goldfish?
What about fruit snacks? No Rhema.
“Everyone is stupid in this room but me. ” Go get in the car Rhema.
I somehow manage to grab a bra , throw my hair up into a ponytail and get in the car . I put the said bra on at a stoplight near my house. I’m talented like that. I’m also organized. No, I’m not. I found a luna bar under my seat. Breakfast.
Asher likes to take the time in the car to have deep thoughts and voice them.
” Momma if a dog runs away and never comes back does he have a house in the woods?”
” But why does he have a house in the woods? Who built it?”
I can’t think of anything good to say because I haven’t had any coffee. Starbucks is up the street. I can literally smell it. No wait that’s a poop.
” Adah has a poop Mom!”
We pull into the school parking lot and Asher dashes out of the car . My aunt stays outside so I don’t have to unload the girls out of the car. Bless her.
Walking inside Asher turns around and says he doesn’t want me to walk him in? What I’m sorry. You’re five , not 17. No mom, stay out here.
Can I at least have a kiss? A handshake?
He kissed me quickly and I went back to the car.
No I didn’t. I followed him down the hall like a stalker. He turned around several times. One time I ducked into the men’s bathroom. He never saw me.
I watched him walk into his classroom and made eye contact with his teacher. She shook her head knowingly at me. She gets me. I smiled and watched him so proudly put away his snack and greet his friends. Which is everyone in the class. Asher is more popular than I ever was or ever will be. I was such a dork in high school…. Moving on.
I may or may not have stood there and shed a tear. But not for reasons that I was hurt, but proud. I was proud of him for cutting the cord. Proud of him for stepping out and being brave. Isn’t that what we have been working with him on?
When children are given the confidence , they will thrive. I’ve felt The Lord lead me several times this week to encourage them on purpose. Pick certain things to praise them for. Praise builds self esteem, but actions make it stick. There’s such a vital importance to praise them for right choices. Let them see the value of obedience, not just the consequence of disobedience .
How proud is he when we step out in faith into our calling. When we walk out his promises. He won’t fail us. He smiles when we take a risk because he can work with risk takers.