One of the most important things you can do for your children is love your spouse. I’ve always known this, and tried to practice it… But never fully saw its positive effects until a few days ago .
I’ve been with my husband for ten years . Three children later, he still gives me butterflies and I love him more today than yesterday. Our love has grown deeper over the years, with heart aches and struggles, mostly financial that we have faced as a team. Our phrase lately is :
” We are on the same team babe.”
We say it almost daily because with the chaos of life and children and owning your own business it’s easy to become mundane and feel insignificant. It’s easy to open the door for the enemy to come in a cause division and strife in frustration and exhaustion. Life can be exhausting right? Raising children in a Godly home isn’t easy. He never said it would be. It’s a challenge.
But It’s worth it. All of it.
Sundays are our best family days. We worship as a family at church and take the rest of the day to be together and relax. This usually results in being couch potatoes and watching movies with the kids. Dinner goes from big to do meals during the week to cereal and popcorn. Maybe a few Oreos if we feel so inclined. And guess what, it’s the kids favorite meals that I put no thought or effort into.
This Sunday we were as usual , watching a movie with the kids. All three in their PJ’s on the couch with us. I’ll be honest and say that I would usually rather show Matt affection when the kids are in bed. When it’s the perfect time and I’ve brushed my teeth and showered. When no one is looking and we are perfectly alone. Not because I don’t want people to see how much I love him, but because it’s easier that way. Or is it? That I don’t want to make people feel uncomfortable.
Sitting there first Matt grabbed my hand to hold. I love when he does this. He’s so affectionate and I’m so not, but I’m learning that is how he feels loved.
In the middle of the movie he moved closer to me and kissed me.This wasn’t an innocent kiss, like we usually will do before he leaves for work or a goodnight kiss. This was a high school kiss . This was a oh geez why are we not married yet kinda kiss. Suddenly I was 15 again in his arms. Helpless to notice my surroundings or even care who was watching. He pulled away , I caught my breath and looked up at the kids.
All three were silent. Staring and smiling. I saw then the positive impact it had on them that we were so loving towards each other physically.
Rhema piped up and said :
” y’all are married!”
It’s something they need to see. Not just a kiss here and there or a hug, but they need to see that we are passionate for each other.
Children need to see their parents show affection. They need to see the powerful covenant of marriage. In which, God is the center .
They need to see much more than that. Children take in more than we think.
Absolutely. Our job as parents is to direct them and teach them about The Lord. To be a walking example of a Godly adult. That’s how they learn and grow.
But we also need to teach them at a young age about marriage. About waiting for the spouse The Lord has for them. About the vital importance of a saving yourself for your spouse. When they begin to see how special their parents marriage is , with Christ in the center, won’t they begin to develop a hunger for what is pure and true?
I did. I saw my parents marriage and the pureness of waiting until marriage to have sex. They openly talked to me about waiting and how important it was. They never once said:
Well. If you CAN wait , it’s important. It was you SHOULD wait. It’s GOOD to wait. You will be BLESSED if you do.
And we did. Not because they TOLD us to, but because we saw the goodness that flowed out of a marriage that had the patience to wait.
I want to show my children our belief with our marriage. I don’t want to blow out hot air and drill into them all the
” Don’t do this …. Don’t do that….”
But instead I want to say
” Do that. Trust him. Wait. He’s so faithful when we do. ”
And show them with our lives how faithful he is.
If you didn’t wait until marriage, there’s forgiveness. I’m in no way preaching or putting myself on a high horse. You can STILL show your children a pure marriage. And communicate to them your struggles and your strengths. In any area.
Not just sex .
Kiss your spouse in front of your kids today. A honeymoon kiss. It does everyone a bit of good.