The porch

We have choices in everything we do. Everything that comes to our minds we have a choice whether to entertain it, or dismiss it.

I woke up this morning , again heavy. I’ve learned that in this season I need to have calming , presence inviting things surrounding me. I turn on worship music and stick it in my back pocket.

This morning was a series of unfortunate events. Of course it would be a Saturday Daddy was busy working, and I was alone. I know I am never alone, but I wish Jesus could change a few diapers for me. Or maybe clean up baby poop that Rhema tried to do just that with baking soda. All over my floor.

The temptation to pick up the kids , still in PJ’s and head to the nearest restaurant for breakfast so I could be in some adult company was overwhelming. But I chose to stay home and get things done while feeding them breakfast. Mopping up poop and choosing peace. Again. And again.

It’s a powerful thing when we choose peace. It seems like in the beginning choosing peace only brings more stress our way. But that’s why is it a choice.

I choose in the midst of my circumstances to be peaceful. What is a choice if it’s that easy?

I’m such a thinker. I think and think and think all day long but I’m learning that all I really need to do is align my thoughts to his thoughts. What good is my thinking if it will eventually turn into worry?

And most of the time it does. Because I’ve chosen to entertain it.

Driving in the car is my quiet time with The Lord. I have several friends that get up with the sunrise and read their bibles and be with The Lord. I don’t particularly feel led to do that in this season of my life, but I’m glad they do. I feel like he knows my heart wants to be with him all the time, but he also knows my exhaustion. So I worship him while sweeping the floors.

I worship him while reading Asher a book for school. I worship him while painting Rhemas nails. I worship him while I breast feed Adah .

In the car today on the way to a dear friends house I asked The Lord to show me a metaphor of my life. He is always gracious to me and somehow I always get to my destination alive.

I saw a battlefield. Men in ragged uniforms crossing the enemy lines. My army was wearing red and I knew in my heart it was Red for

Redemption. He is my redeemer in all seasons. Even this one.

I saw fighting and killing and strife. But I saw in the very corner of my mind a man resting. His friends were nodding their heads in approval for this man to go to sleep while they stood guard. In the middle of a battle this man slept. While his friends who loved him dearly looked for out for his enemy. They were prepared at any cost to defend their friend while he took a much needed rest.

I know that man in my vision was me. That the father has so graciously placed friends in my life to stand guard while I rest.

Rest is such a relative term right? Rest can mean you are awake , laying on the couch watching TV. Rest can mean you are fully asleep in your bed.

Rest for me is a clear mind. Rest is someone stepping in to take my burdens. This is something that Jesus has already done for me on the cross, but something I have a hard time excepting.

I can’t rest . I’ve got this and this and oh this to do. I will rest later when all my work is through.

Rest is more powerful before your work is finished. Why?

Because it’s a choice. Not an end result.

After my vision The Lord began to reveal to me areas I needed to choose peace.

Lately for some reason I’ve been overwhelmed and very negative towards house repairs that need to be done. To the point where I’ve let it overtake my mind and let me feel overwhelmed. I had lost my ” first love” for our home in all the ” to do list” of this season.

New windows. New doors. Insulation. More more more. Money money money.

Rhema often lives up to her name. Almost daily she sets me on sold ground with a small sentence.

We pull into our small town and Rhema begins to recognize the road.

” This is our home Momma.”

” Yep babe. ”

I felt compelled to ask her….

” what do you like about our house Rhem?”

” I like to play outside. And I like the chickens and i like my room.”

He laid that on me like a ton of bricks.

Rachel. What were your first loves about your home.

The porch Jesus. I loved the porch.

Then tomorrow you go out there and meet it again. As if it were the first time. Greet it with eager eyes and an eager heart for joy.

Choose joy. Because in me there is freedom to choose.