We always reap what we sow. Right? Our choices and decisions are huge in the scale of our lives. Since he gave us free will, we are free to choose a life with him or without him.

But be careful not to choose to reap what someone else has sown . That’s called a false burden. It’s a battle you don’t need to fight. He has given you your armor IN him for what HE has called you to do. He is a redemptive God, but let me tell you he is a God with a righteous anger for what is his. He is just. He is good, but he is fiery jealous for you. He is passionate and won’t relent until we give him our whole lives.

Until we lay every single thing that weighs us down at his feet. Then we are free.

You see. I don’t have a house right now. I’m living from parent to parent because I cannot stay in a house that I thought was meant for me. I’ve got most of my children’s clothing , some frozen chicken and a few Cliff Bars in my mini van. We are in the process of moving yet again and I’m tired. You know what, it’s ok to be tired. It’s ok to admit you’re weak before him. He knows this. That’s why we are in a relationship with him, he holds us up when we can’t walk any further.

What’s not ok is my attitude towards it all. Oh. God I’ve been so obedient to your ways. I’ve fasted and listened to your voice again and again and you’ve left me here in this house that makes me sick. You’ve surely abandoned me.


Today doing laundry at my in laws house I was feeling extra sorry for myself. Crying while folding tiny underwear and asking him aloud what to do. Asking him for provision and strength. Rhema was praying along with me. She loves to repeat every word I pray . Then I noticed something.

She was playing in a pile of dirty towels.

” No Rhema Z those are dirty. Here play with this one.”

She looks at me , grabs the dirty towel and starts leaping around the laundry room.

She kept her gaze with my eyes and started singing:


I knew. I knew he was showing me something.

Rachel, see how she takes joy in the dirty things of life. I’m worthy to be praised even if you don’t have a house. I’m worthy to be praised even if what your plan for your life looked like is shattered. I’m worthy of it all. Praise me.

You bet I did. Ok Jesus. I’ll praise you.

As soon as I started worshipping with my dirty laundry he spoke to me so clear :

Lay your house down at my feet. It’s not your burden to carry. It’s mine.

So I did.

As soon as I said it aloud, my phone beeped. It was a text message from a dear friend that I receive so much wisdom from. She is 89 in Jesus years. It was first a picture of 8 X’s on a white sheet of paper. Her daughter has just drawn it and she went to throw it away while praying for me but The Lord told her to stop. To wait and ask what the X’s meant.

She prayed and the Lord brought Jeremiah 6:16 to mind.

“Stand at the crossroads and look. Ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find REST for your weary soul.”

I had to run by the house today. Most of our things are still there only because we have no place to put them yet. I had to check the mail and feed the animals. I got out of the car and stood. I stood real tall .

I imagined myself in the middle of a crossroad. Deciding which way to go.

Left or right. Maybe straight ahead.

But with my hands stretched to my Papa , I only looked up.

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