Some experiences in our lives I believe are to be shared for the benefit of others. For this reason , I feel moved by The Lord to share with my blog followers how real the spiritual realm that we live in everyday is.
We have two choices. We can choose to be aware of our surroundings , or choose to blind our eyes to what is really happening. Often times blinding them is more comfortable and it seems safer that way. The past couple of months I didn’t have to choose to see, I was forced to.
You see, he always gives us the grace for each situation we walk through if we just simply trust him to. All this time he never left my side. He was guiding me and molding me into the woman I am right now.
This morning I awoke with a start. Hands cold and clammy. Heart rate sky high. I sat up and recounted the dream I just had. There was so much blood. I looked down at my sheets.
White as snow .
I got out of bed and journeyed to the girls room to get their diapers changed and breakfast started. I couldn’t get the dream out of my mind. The baby . I lost the baby.
I felt my stomach. I don’t feel pregnant? But in the dream I had a miscarriage. An early one, I knew that much. But in my dream I was peaceful. I wasn’t in turmoil about loosing the baby. I knew it was for my good.
But how could loosing a baby ever be for my good? This question plagued me all day long. The dream was so real that I couldn’t discount it. I asked The Lord if he was preparing my heart for loss. No answer. Nothing.
I was making grilled cheese sandwiches when Rhema comes up to me. Tears pouring down her cheeks she says:
” Momma! You had a baby in your tummy but it’s gone!”
How could she have known my dream?
I got down on my knees and asked her what she meant. Who told you that honey? Why are you crying?
” Your baby in your tummy got sick, and it fell out. And I’m so so sad right now mom.”
I assured her she didn’t have to be upset. We prayed together, and that was the end of it. Or so I thought. A few minutes later I was passing the living room window when something caught my eye. It was a large hawk in our tree. At first glance it looked like an owl. It was so large and it’s head looked much like an owl. I watched it for a minute and noticed it was stalking something.
It sat there in the tree for a minute longer, then swooped down and caught a small mouse. It sent chills up my spine and I wanted to know why. I began looking up what the prophetic symbolism is for seeing a hawk. I came up with this definition:
Hawks represent clear sighted ness, being observant ,guardianship. They also bring courage and wisdom , illumination and truth. Hawks give us the ability to see the larger picture in life.
I knew I was seeing the hawk for a reason. But I couldn’t get past this miscarriage drama. I had it in my mind that I was going to have one. It took every joy I would have had about being pregnant a fourth time from me. Isn’t that what the enemy does? He comes to steal, kill and destroy. Even if I took a test today, and it came up positive … Doesn’t that mean I would soon loose the baby?
I tried to pray through my panic , and ended up buying a pregnancy test. I was the crazy woman in Wal mart with three kids in a grocery cart. A pack of goldfish to keep them entertained. A gallon of milk , and a pregnancy test. The look I got from the clerk was just as entertaining as my children.
” Momma, here is your medicine!” As Asher put the test on the counter. Thanks honey.
I got home, unloaded the groceries and immediately took the test. Listen, I’ve taken my fair share of pregnancy tests. I can do this quick. I was actually breast feeding and peeing on the stick. Beat that.
Negative? Then what in the world is going on here? Am I making this up?
I decided it was time to call in the big dogs . Women I know could give me some serious insight. So I did. The response from the Holy Spirit was immediate. I began to see my life in a birds eye view. I could see then what I could not see in my panicked state. I had peace. And he slowly revealed to me what the days events meant.
A couple months ago I was involved in a conversation about serious , deep witchcraft. In this conversation I shared my views as to why I think it is wrong. I knew I was stepping on dangerous ground with this person, but I also knew I was protected. I was accused , beat down and it resulted in opening my eyes to the spiritual realm. After this conversation I felt physically ill. I knew then that I had played chess with a demon.
I had won, but he still wanted to play.
I went through a series of night terrors. My children were deeply affected. I saw demons and they paraded around trying to grab my attention. And they gained it, because that was all I could see. I couldn’t see the good. It was depressing. I felt alone and violated. It was a time in my life that I never want to re live. But I had been. In my mind. Day after day. Until today.
When we ask The Lord to shed light in an area, he will. He will show us if we wait on him. I waited all day long for a revelation , and just before dinner I got it.
Witchcraft is a attempt of the enemy to copy the kingdom of God. Point blank. Anything that glorifies man, and gives one certain person power is witchcraft. It’s deception. I was deceived into thinking I was going to miscarry. But instead when I really sought out wisdom , he revealed much more.
The dream I had was of a seed the enemy had planted in our family during those few months of turmoil. The miscarriage I experienced was Jesus ridding my body of any plan of the enemy for our family. The miscarriage was for my good. Thats why I felt such peace.
I know now in The Lord showing me the hawk and the mouse it was representative of my dream. He was giving me insight to see that the dream was not meaning that I would miscarry, but that a false seed had attempted to be planted in our family , and had now been aborted all the way down to my children’s children. My inheritance. Hence the baby, a seed.
” I thank you lord that your promises come In seed form . And as we nurture them , the increase to your government ( outworked in and through the kingdom , which is first outworked in the family) knows NO end!” – Sue M.