Exposed

Today The Lord spoke to me about a pile of trash in my backyard. I’m not sure whether to be flattered or to reevaluate if I’m a redneck or not. We live in the city but I grew up in the country and we drank out of pickle jars. The juice yes, but then my parents washed them and we used them as fine china . The jury is still out.

Seeing the trash made me feel, well exposed. Anyone that came by could see what I ate for dinner last night in the trash bag. What kind of shampoo we use and how many dirty diapers I throw away a day . I’m not saving the planet by any means. Matt had set the trash out to go in the bin that night. He had good intentions of putting it where it belonged.

Don’t people , nice people , usually have good intentions of telling a story and people responding in love? When we expose ourselves , the good the bad and the ugly we are vulnerable. But isn’t it a beautiful thing? Not always.

Depends on where you set your trash out.

When you go through a rough season in your life, you quickly find out who your friends are. Who loves you and who doesn’t. And that’s ok. It just makes it easier when sending out invites to your spa party.

Spa party? I want one!

What I’m saying is, I’ve been real careful of who I share my heart with. Just kidding. I’ve shared my heart with thousands of people I don’t know. I’m basically in the bathtub naked trying to drink a nice glass of wine with Rhema staring at me asking me about my c section scar.

” Does it still hurt? ” and ” when I get old and have boobies will I have one of those?”

Funny. With Rhema staring at me tonight I thought about how much I’ve exposed myself on my blog. All the negative I’ve gotten doesn’t compare to the outpouring of emails and love I’ve gotten from readers. You guys are a blessing to me. All the time.

But really, in my personal life , if that’s a category for me, I’m very careful who I really.. I mean really let in. In this season I’m reminded of the verse in Matthew:

” Do not give the dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to the pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.”
Matthew 7:6

It’s a harsh verse for me. I really struggle when someone asks me a question NOT to be honest with them. I’m so used to living my life an open book, that I’ve had to learn to hold back. It’s my nature to spill. Kinda like every woman on the planet. I want so much for people to know the real me. But I’m learning that what other people think doesn’t matter so much. Actually it doesn’t matter at all.

What matters is what my father thinks of me. And he’s made it very clear for me to be transparent with you on here. So I’ll be obedient. I’m learning to submit to his will. Wanna know why?

Because he’s always good. His plans for me are always good. I’ll trust him forever.