This is my first ” part two” of any blog post. I’m not sure how I feel about it. Kinda like how I’m not sure how I feel about the fact that Asher slept walked into our room last night. Pulled down his pants and peed right in front of our bed. At least we have hardwoods.
I was told to write a part two yesterday afternoon. I received several encouraging emails from readers, but it still felt incomplete. I knew there was more Jesus had to say. This post couldn’t be more timely actually. Today I am dealing with a difficult person to love. But love them I will. Because it’s too early for wine. And jail time would be conflicting with my Downton Abbey addiction.
Driving down the road into the town we used to call home I always get short of breath. Not because I’m nervous. Not because I’m upset. But because a small part of me misses it.
That small part in my heart landed me there . For the first few months it allowed me to see what was good about that property. It was that small part that allowed me to laugh there chasing the chickens. It was that small part that lead me to love a house that causes me so much grief.
I had been told I had received something in the mail at the old house. We drove up to the driveway and checked the mail.
” Don’t pull in the driveway. I can’t see it.”
It was this intense pain in my heart. Tears welled up in my eyes and I wiped them away with anger. How could I still have any love for this home? It had mistreated me again and again. Hurt me. Hurt my family.
When will this tiny piece of my heart be patched? Then The Lord said:
” I made you to love it. ”
Ok cool. But why? Why did you allow me to love something so dangerous? It was one thing to grow from my experience there. But is it possible to love something that hurts you?
Does that make you a weak person?
It only makes you weak if you continue in the pattern of hurt, instead of removing yourself from the place or person. Addiction or situation.
This is valid when talking about friends that have hurt you. Deeply. Way too many times to count. It’s completely possible to love them from afar.
It will hurt. Because you care for them and love them. But what is important to know is that the love you feel for them is real. But distancing yourself from the hurt isn’t a sign of weakness.
We are called to be good stewards of our hearts. To fill our hearts with his word and good fruit.
Does this mean you shouldn’t minister to hurting people? No.
Because the odds are if you are loving and praying for someone from afar, your ministry never stops.
You’re ministering to them as you pray. Without their ugly words and accusations. It’s a safe place to love them.
Because of my love for our old home I can pray for the owners from afar. I can pray for anyone that steps foot where I used to dwell. I can pray blessings and ask his presence to fill that place.
But it doesn’t mean I need to live there. And it doesn’t mean your heart needs to continue to be abused.
Step out. Step back. Pray on.