When we found the perfect sectional to purchase for our family I pictured the pillows perfectly arranged , special family movie nights and guest admiring our new purchase.
” Oh this is so nice, where did you get it? ” and ” Man this is comfortable, you must fall asleep on this all the time!”
Instead it’s become a playhouse,the pillows a weapon and the comfortable factor has become dangerous to any romantic night after the kids are in bed. I fall asleep before anything remotely romantic can happen. Sorry honey.
Endless forts have been built and torn down at bedtime. Lots of memories made on it, some yogurt spills we hid from daddy and lots of rem sleep cycles. I’ve had to stop the kids from playing ” tag” with the pillows. By tag I mean … Let’s brutally murder our siblings with these oversized pillows . I mean it’s a freaking war zone.
All this past week I’ve found feathers from the sectional. Feathers upon feathers , but no one else seemed to notice them. During dinner one night I asked my husband:
“Have you noticed all the feathers everywhere from the sofa ?”
He said no, and after dinner getting the kids in the bathtub more appeared. In their clothing, which was no ah ha moment. I knew they were trying to kill each other right before dinner ” building a fort”. The feathers continued to appear, and even typing now I found one on my pant leg. I have on real pants today. I dressed up for church.
They’re called jeggings.
It wasn’t until after church during a time of ministry that The Lord revealed to my heart his purpose for showing me feathers all week. It’s no secret I’ve dealt with anxiety after my third child was born , and it’s often a daily battle for peace in my mind. I won’t struggle with it for long, this I know.
During someone praying over my chest to loosen and my anxiety to be lifted , he mentioned feathers. How he saw feathers all over me and how that was my portion. Since feathers are light it’s easy to tote them around. Feathers are practically weightless. The presence of The Lord was so strong I could no longer stand, instead I had to sit. Usually when the spirit comes on me I cry or laugh or shake, but today I couldn’t move I was so peaceful. I could physically feel warm oil being poured onto my head and down the rest of my tired body.
He knew what I needed today was quiet. I needed his presence to calm me, not to hype me up. I needed to take a few good deep breaths. And I did. My ribs completely loosened. It was as if I had just downed a jumbo margarita . A strawberry one.
He began speaking serious truth to my heart . One thing that stood out tremendously , and will forever change my parenting was this:
It’s not solely MY responsibility to lead my children into their destinies. Listening to prophetic words spoken over my children I have taken on this false burden in which I pressured myself to perfectly usher them into what Jesus has for their lives. I took it upon myself to stress myself out scrambling around trying to find all the tools they needed to grow into what they are meant to be and do.
For example, I cannot tell you how many prophetic words we have gotten about Rhema. That she would be very influential in the kingdom.
” She will lead millions to his heart.”
That made my heart proud but it’s also at times scared the junk out of me. I had placed this intense pressure on my ability to show her the way.
Yes he’s given us as parents authority to lead our children , to love them and to show them with our lives Gods greatness, but it is a lie that we are in this alone. Its a lie that if I screw up tomorrow and fail to show her gods goodness that she will not grow up to fulfill her destiny.
Today I was able to breathe deeper yes, but I was able to give him my fear of failure to lead our children into their great destinies in the kingdom.
It’s our portion to be light. Light as a feather.
” My yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Today that verse that I’ve heard my entire life takes on a whole new meaning. It’s my choice, and your choice whether we will carry the heavy burdens of life or whether we will chose his yolk. Which is light as a feather.
Often people that struggle with anxiety are carrying a false burden. Or several. I believe in this season of my life that Jesus is weeding out false burdens and showing me truth after truth until there is no longer room for fear. There’s no longer room for heaviness. He wants to take it and give me the feather.
He wants to do that for you too. Will you let him?