Summer vacation has begun. It’s been nice and relaxing and I like to make jokes. There’s several words in that first sentence that are lies, I refer to them as jokes to make myself laugh. And not have to repent.
Our pool that we regularly attend was closed last week for repairs. This resulted in pure chaos in my home. It was as if my children were un cultured and caged .
I watched Frozen more times than I’d like to admit that week. Who am I kidding it was 16 times. There I said it. Listening to the music I made up my own song. It goes a little something like this:
Do you wanna make a margarita?
Or take a lap around the mall?
I think some company is overdue , I’ve started talking to the laundry on the floor.
It gets a little crazy, all these hungry kids, watching the minutes tick by….
Do you wanna make a margarita?
It’s too early to make a margarita.
Ok bye.
But alas, vacation beckons. I had to look up how to spell that. It kept autocorrecting to bacon, which I will have plenty of on vacation. That and beer. Because I’m a man with a uterus.
This will be the first time in almost two years I’ve been anywhere without any children. If you don’t count the 3 seconds I’ve taken a shower alone without someone stepping in to help me wash my hair. My husband included. So to the beach we go. I will most likely find the nearest infant and breast feed her involuntarily because I’m sure I will be dying to squish a baby butt. I apologize in advance for my behavior, I know not what I do.
And with that said I have one more rendition of the build a snow man song in honor of my vacation. This is to myself , without children for a few days.
Rachel, please I know you’re in there.
Everyone is asking where you’ve been.
They say ” are all these children yours?” And I’m smart with them.
I’m right on the beach for you, just let me in.
We only have each other .
It’s just you and me
What are we gonna do?
Do you wanna make a margarita?
It’s been two hours since I’ve made a margarita.
Ok fine.
The Witty Uterus 