I’m always up for writing a post to connect Mothers everywhere. To show them I’m in fact human too and have many flaws. To wave my fist in the air in the name of motherhood.
Like my addiction to coffee. I’m a slave I tell you. A slave to the mug.
But I don’t always get to enjoy the warmth at its freshest moment. I would just like to say that I lay my head on my pillow at night thinking of my morning cup of joe. Wondering how many times I will have to radioactivity heat it up.
By the time I actually get to sit and enjoy it a few things have already shaped my day. In just thirty minutes I died to myself 58 times and reheated my coffee at least 11 . This is why:
1) my kids woke up at 6:47 am . With tears in my eyes I brewed my first two cups.
2) at 6:52 am ,the first fight broke out. I mended a busted lip. For the love of caffeine I got through it , blindly making my way to the liquor cabinet. Or was it the medicine cabinet. I don’t know. No coffee yet.
3) 6:57 am ,lip stopped bleeding and it was time for cereal. I took my first sip. Instantly human mommy. I remembered then I left the band aids in the bathroom. And the fact that I can’t put a bandaid on a three year old lip. Removed said bandaid. Took another sip.
4) 7:09 am, time to clean up cereal and milk spilled on the floor by toddler. I think it was my toddler but at this point I’m not sure who owns her. Sip number three. Then I noticed she was mine because she responded to the name baby. We have the same hair color.
5) 7:15 am , sip 4 . Nasty . Tastes like cold tar. I drink it anyway. Agave nectar is horrible. I hate it but I drink it anyway because it’s time to ride bikes. I’m a safe Mom so I make them wear helmets. Little did I know I need a helmet too, on or off of a bike. I smashed my head against the door frame chasing a naked baby with a trail of pee coming from her butt. At this point I know she’s mine. Sip 5. Still horrific .
6) 7:35 am , I had a spare moment to reheat said coffee . Much better. Time for fort building because it’s ” sooooooooooooooooo HOT outside. “. Another fight breaks out over a Lego. Why are you playing with Legos while you’re building a dang fort. Choose an activity and stick with it. Sip 6. Cold again. Just like my three year olds butt. Why is she naked again?
7) 7:48 am, by this time I have pants on and my hair is out of my face. This is an accomplishment, I don’t care who you are. But I’m Rachel. And I’m tired. Sip 7. Blast . Cold.
8) 8:05 am ,go outside children so I can scream in a pillow and clean up the fort.
9) 10:03 am . I don’t recall what happened between those other hours because I lost my cell phone . And all connection to the outside world. I made a rainbow on a napkin and removed a baby doll from the toilet bowl.
10) 10:07 am, I poured another cup. It’s hot. I smile. I concur the world and suddenly remember my children’s names when they run for the road to meet the trash man. He waves , smiles then notices me. Our eyes meet and he says :
” Are all them yours!?”
” Yes I think so. I haven’t had enough coffee yet.”
He will be regularly checking my trash for drug needles and dead bodies. I’m ok with it. He may find several wine bottles and toys I’ve thrown away. It’s my new hobby. Throwing toys away.