& The night is getting late, but my mind cannot leave behind the toys in the playroom , scattered on the floor alone. I get impatient with myself. Rachel just chill. They're just toys, go on to bed. You can clean them in the morning.
I've been reading wonderful , well said blog posts about mothers " letting go" and leaving the dishes in the sink and laundry in the baskets. Relax, your real friends won't care when your house is messy. The cleaning can wait, enjoy your kids now.
I've ingrained it into my mind that cleaning is bad. For if I clean up behind my kids I must be an uptight Mom who can't enjoy the mess. But can I just be honest and say that I cannot enjoy the mess. It's just not in my brain to find it pleasurable .
Do I let my kids build ridiculously large forts and color all over cardboard boxes ? Oh heck yes. They know how to have fun and so do I. But at the end of the play session, they learn to clean too.
Can we just shake off the guilt from wanting to have a tidy house for a second?
You are not a bad, un fun mommy if you want to clean the playroom because you may just drink wine for dinner if you step on one more toy. I've come to the conclusion in this very survival state I'm in , to do what makes me sane. And if that is cleaning up before I can relax and go to bed, so be it.
There is a very fine line between having a museum , don't touch only look at your antique toys children as I display them ever so carefully in shadow boxes, and a zoo. My house is right in the middle.
Fruit snacks on the floor , maybe a few Legos and baby dolls . You may find a half eaten apple and a grape or two, discarded at lunch time. Those things do not stress me out, rather I like to do the work to clean them up. As my kids watch me take care of my home in a rewarding way, they too will learn to care for their things.
I love order. But what I love more is peace.
When I have order, I have peace. And that's ok. It's ok that I desire a clean home to represent who we are as a family. I want my children to grow up responsible adults, who are good stewards of what they are given.
Our homes reflect who we are as a family. Sure you may find dust here and there. Baby dolls scattered around with the fire trucks, but all in all it will be tidy. Because I want it to be. Because it makes me happy . And dang it if I don't thrive in a tidy home.
Are my children scared to get toys out and get creative? Nope. They just know that when it's time to clean up, it's everyone's job to do so. They are learning responsibility in chaos. They are learning to care for their things, and their home.
That makes me proud, just like a clean kitchen floor does.