Sometimes I do crazy things, that in my head are not crazy. So I guess they aren’t crazy , but rather very crazy .
I picked up furniture on the side of the road, because it was cool, and I’m a sucker for taking pieces of crap and turning them into something cool. Because I have nothing else to do with my time.

I shoved them in the van, clearly invading the girls space for the love of junk. Having realized I never blessed these items before bringing them into the car ( because I’m THAT Christian) , I jumped out of the parked van in the Preschool parking lot.

Careful to see I was alone before I totally went Joyce Meyer on this furniture, I scanned the parking lot. No one in sight. Fantastic . Because before these things enter my house I’m going to make darn sure they be as holy as possible. This chick don’t play anymore.

I started with the antique dresser. Drooled a bit as I blessed it.

” Lord I ask you to bless this dresser, and anything that is attached to it that is not of you I conman it to leave in the name of Jesus. Amen!”

I stood there with my hands still placed on the dresser. Eyes closed and knees apart. Like I was ready for football practice , err Rugby. I was playing tough as I smacked my gum and quieted down my baby.

” Mommy’s slaying the dresser in the spirit honey, I’ll be done in a minute.”

It was then I saw her, about two feet from me . Baby on her hip. Jaw dropped as she just stared. Rather than explaining to her that I am not crazy , but kinda , yes … Crazy .

I smiled and waved. No response.

” Would you like me to pray for you too? I swear I won’t take you home with me.”

No I didn’t say that. I hopped in my ugly minivan and pulled out of the parking lot. I pray she wasn’t traumatized. Next time I’ll bring my snakes and ask her if she’s ever had a Sozo.

I kid I kid.


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