There’s something about being married to a man, and raising one that drives you insane, and keeps you sane. Now I know what you are thinking, that first sentence didn’t make any sense. Since I’m a woman you are supposed to read my mind without me having to explain it to you. I don’t have time to go into the detail, I’m trying to get gum out of my three year olds hair and I may or may not have eaten an entire bag of pizza goldfish on my own during naptime. I can cry all I want and change my mind, because HORMONES. But there is one thing being surrounded by men is teaching me.
Enjoy the ride to your destination.
The field trip was wrapping up as I asked my 6 year old if he wanted to just come home with me. His eyes squinted and he let out a proclamation that he had already promised all of his friends he would ride on the bus with them back to school. He’s SIX, going on 17…and I’m learning to LET HIM be social. It’s ok he doesn’t want me to walk him into school anymore. The kiss at the drop off line is forced as I tell him I am the hand that feeds him. When really it is his Father that provides financially while I sit at home and eat bon bons, while catching up on the latest Parenthood episode, because HULU.
” Momma! Watch me get on the bus! I love riding it! I love sitting with my friends and watching out the windows!”
How many times have I hated the ride to my destination? Only thinking of the arrival and missing all the beautiful scenery . Flustered and frustrated with always being late? And how many times had I tried to rush through a hard season to get to the destination of victory, when all the while the ride could have been more peaceful if I had just sat down and looked out the window.
There is something about the way that men’s minds work that captures details of life events, and surroundings. Their bus ride is usually more peaceful than a womans, because they have nothing on their minds. They are noticing the trees as they change color for Fall, and maybe wondering when they will eat next. All the while the woman next to them is worried about her crock pot burning the house down while the roast cooks, and do they kids have clean underwear for tomorrow?” Did I ever find that metal spatula that I always use when I fry bacon? Did I give my neighbor a thank you note for letting me borrow that cup of sugar? Er, I didn’t borrow it, I couldn’t give it back. The kids ate all the cookies. I need to brush their teeth more than twice a day. When am I supposed to start my period? I need to eat more kale, I bet that would help with… crap we are here.”
The man arrives, smiles and gathers his things and walks off the bus. Whats next ? I just woke up from a nap.
Folks, this is a GOOD balance to have. The men keep us grounded and calm and we help them by forcing them to feel emotions they never knew they had. Watch girlie movies to enhance their Prince charming side, and rub our feet when we are too pregnant to reach them. The fact is that we need men and all of their brain waves fixated on sex and bacon to journey along life’s ups and downs with us. To hold us when we cry, and laugh at us when we fart in public. These men that we are married to and we are raising have valuable things to teach us, and silence our racing minds.
While I desperately wanted my son to ride home from the field trip with me, his momma… I knew there was a freedom he was experiencing away from me. He is beginning to find who he is , entangled with my love, yet free from my strong grip. That man I am raising that walked up into that bus with confidence knows he is loved. He knows I will follow the bus like a crazy woman until it stops at his destination. He taught me something today…
Enjoy the ride. When you are sitting , and you are still there is so much you can see. Stop fixating on the destination so much, or the past journeys, and just be present. Right now.