Friendships are like fire.

I’ve been learning how to build a fire in our wood-stove lately. So far I haven’t burnt myself, or the children. It’s a huge accomplishment for me…. Super uncoordinated me that can’t parallel park or jump rope. Luckily I didn’t have to jump rope to get my license. Although the car ended up on top of a sidewalk trying to park, the kind old man gave me my license anyway.

I blame him for my first and second accidents. Including the stupid tattoo I got soon after I got my license. It’s a star. Er, two stars. Why you ask ? Because I could drive and suddenly I was a serious bad ass. With $60 extra bucks to spend. It only made sense to  mark my freedom with a star. In a place no one can see. It says to my husband, the only one that see’s it:

This means freedom. But not too much freedom, there are children in this house.

My heart has been stirring for months to write on the topic of friendships, and today the Lord finally gave me a visual to go by.


:: Friendships are like fire. Some you have to tend to to keep going them burning. Some fires are so large you can leave them alone for a few hours, heck forget about them and they are still burning. Some fires are hard to get going and need a little lighter fluid. Some fires are dangerous and must be put out before they harm you or your family. Some fires are cozy to sit by, not too hot that you will be burned, but warm enough to enjoy…….

And some fires just burn out without a real explanation. They just died , as soon as you got the marshmallows out to roast. You are left with a dang marshmallow and no fire.::

I’m sure reading this you can all relate with certain friendships above. All are healthy, all are ok. We just have to learn to build a good fire. 

Building a good fire, and even judging a good one takes time. You learn as you go, and sometimes you get burnt. getting burnt doesn’t mean you don’t love a warm fire. So you keep trying until you can cozy up with a good book by the warmth.

Listen, I’ve often wondered why some friendships last a long, long time. And why some fizzle out for no good reason. No fight, no  falling out, the flame just burned out. When trying to rekindle it you get burned, by no fault of your own , you just wanted to be warm again.

As women, we desire acceptance. We desire intimacy in every relationship we are in. It’s simply our nature. When things get cold and distant, we wonder why. We wonder where we went wrong in the building of this fire.

In this I have learned one thing:

People come and people go. But the right ones stick. The people that REALLY  care about you stick around when the flame is dying. They help you rekindle the fire you worked so hard to build. And as soon as the fire is blazing , they wrap their arms around you and tell you one thing:

” See! Aren’t you warm now?”

The real friendships stay blazing because you both stoke the fire.

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