When my husband and I come home from a date night, we can always count on the pitter patter of our middle child’s feet as she runs down the hallway into our bedroom. It’s as if even in a deep sleep, she can sense when we arrive home. Her sun kissed face smiles as she lays her head on the end of our bed. Blonde curls all a mess, but more beautiful than when we left her hours ago.
I scoop her up and lay her back in her bed with a bouquet of kisses on her freckles. I trace pictures of her favorite things on her little back as she guesses them, and we giggle together. Being apart from her for any amount of time, I can see how she has grown, and matured.
Since age 1 she has toted around a blanket that has become her fluffy best friend. Inseparable , these two. I’ve patted myself on the back that in all the chaos of life, we still have ” monkey”.
Laying there with her, I noticed she wasn’t holding onto her beloved blanket. The words formed on the tip of my tongue, as I quickly silenced them. She didn’t need her comfort giver tonight, perhaps she had outgrown it.
The Mothers heart in me wanted to search the house and find it. Let her rub it’s corners once more, and take in the scent of her childhood. My heart was mourning her growth, but I knew this was just the beginning of the rest of her life, letting go of things that were holding her back. Keeping her young.
She fell asleep without it, as I laid there a bit longer. Soaking in the scent of her hair, and just how her hand felt inside mine. Small, but such a strong part of my heart.
I couldn’t help but think about things in my own life that I am holding onto to keep me comforted. The things I have a grip on that I allow to become a limp in my step.
How many times lately have I asked God what to lay at his feet?
Things that once were a comfort, but I have outgrown them.
Am I falling asleep tonight holding onto Him, or my childhood blanket?
Holding onto fear of failure can be the limp in your destiny that you are to walk in with ease.