Forgive and Forget?

I promise this won’t be a long blog. Grab your hot tea, your wine or your secret stash of chocolate and cozy up with me. Maybe all three. Whatever. Just sit.

Take off your bra. Mine came off as soon as I walked in the back door. Pretty sure I flung it so fast that I damaged the kitchen wall. It’s like a hundred year old wall. That’s what it gets for being all old.

Ignore the laundry and all the other junk you need to get done to feel responsible. 

I have a few things to say to you first-

You are smart

You’re doing a great job

Stop trying so hard

Be kind to yourself

Here is me all cozied up with you and a martini. 

Though I am only in my late twenties , I have been through so many season of friendships, and connections with all different types of women. All which I have loved with all my heart, and then some.

People will disappoint you. They will betray you. They will lie about you.

Women will fight for you. Love you. Be lifelong companions.

Life happens. You forgive, but is it the Godly thing to do to ” forget ” too?

Forgive and Forget is a common phrase people use when talking about someone that hurt them. We’ve all heard it.

I look at this phrase like this:

One time I was walking through the woods and came across a Hornets nest. I ended up being stung several times. The next day when walking in the woods I knew to avoid that one spot. Because it hurt. Because it wasn’t necessary for my well being to be stung again. I walked a different way to my neighbors house.

Before you stone me, hear me out.

I believe strongly ( from experience ) that there are certain seasons of your life where God is going to call you to be a bit uncomfy. Stretch your limits. Take risks. Befriend someone who doesn’t match your personality. Hang out with Jane, help Jane with her marriage and parenting issues.

We love Jane. Jane needs you right now.

There may be a time where Jane starts to require more from you. She thinks of you as her counselor for all the things. Everyday Jane is asking you to help her with something new. Jane is sweet, but you are tired. You start to pray about how to help her, what to do.

Jane isn’t taking your advice. Jane is draining you. You cannot fix Jane’s problems.


Do you know a Jane? I’ve known several Jane’s.

You see, the enemy LOVES to get you in a corner and make you feel like a horrible “Christian woman” if you back away from Jane. I suffered many months , and even years of feeling guilty from backing away, and loving Jane from a far. Many Jane’s.

It is very possible to pass the baton to a friend ready to help Jane. In a relay race, when you are tired, you can pass that baton and go chug a beer. You guys, we aren’t meant to run the whole race by ourselves.

God doesn’t want his daughters exhausted from helping all the Jane’s.

Even those who are called to be counselor’s, missionaries… I promise he will equip you with the patience and the strength to help all the Jane’s.

But we never want to push through something that we aren’t called to be doing in that certain season. It only results in exhaustion.


What I am trying to get across is that our lives, our time on this Earth is valuable. We have every right to pick and choose who we allow to speak into our lives.

It’s important, our friends.

You may be in a season where you need to be around a close knit group. You are vulnerable and going through a sensitive time. Do that. Build your tribe. Be careful who you share your secrets with.

Maybe you’re in a season where you are secure in all things. You are budding in a community where making new friends is fun, while still maintaining close friendships. Do that. Be that person. Make new friends. That’s great.

Whatever season you are in, know this. It is YOUR RIGHT as a child of God to guard your heart. Your life is not meant to be a walking crucifix. He died, but guess what!

He rose again.

He made you to be free, to live in deep freedom through Holy Spirit.

Surround yourself with people who get you, but don’t get too comfy. Just around the corner God may be bringing a new friend who is just what you need, and just what her heart desired.

He made us to need each other. It’s a gift. Let’s not abuse it, or allow abuse on our part.

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