I found myself standing in the kitchen with my baby in my arms, just staring outside. It was as if I was watching for something, anything to let me feel closer to Him. Nothing came, so I started supper.
Have you ever thought about what your love language from God is? It is physical touch , where you feel his presence? Maybe gifts, like a sunny day for your wedding. Or it is quality time , just Him and you.
Just like any relationship , love languages are needed and very real to both parties.
I’ve found that in the chaos of My life right now I miss the closeness I would feel when he allowed me to see into the spirit realm. For whatever reason in this season, I don’t see as much or as often.
I notice that I felt more loved by him when I could see the Angelic, and the demonic. I felt like his favorite, his only daughter.
As a mom of four children under age 9, I find it hard to get a quiet moment to even notice my spiritual surroundings. It’s not as if I’ve wished it away , it’s just not happening right now.
I don’t believe that vision is over for me, but it’s made a void in my walk with God. Once a very special place I held so dear isn’t in my life at the moment.
My identity as a seer is now quieter. I know who I am, what I’ve seen, and I cannot unsee it.
It’s made for many sad days, especially right after having a new baby. I’ve felt isolated and alone, desperate to see again.
Today, asking Jesus if I could see , he said to me:
” You’ll be surrounded with seers, it will bless you. Just wait.”
Sitting next to our 6 year old daughter Rhema at the dinner table, she coughs and stands up on her chair.
She was clearly choking and couldn’t breathe. The terror in her eyes was one I felt during the season in the old Mill house where I saw the demonic daily. Even in the moment where I was mother to the rescue/ remembering my past I was able to do both.
I lifted her hands up and she suddenly looked wide eyed up to the dining room ceiling.
It was a look I had never seen her have before, one of AWE and pure amazement. Eyes still wide, she said loudly:
” THERE ARE ANGELS IN HERE!”
And the choking stopped. She remained standing, fixated on the Angels. She collapsed into my lap and let out a strong cry. She was terrified.
Once she caught her breath she explained that several angels were praying over her, singing and telling her food to go down her throat.
It was like watching someone watch a movie you couldn’t see. I had never seen her so fixated, it gave me chills.
Though I hadn’t seen what she saw, I still felt the presence of God. I still felt the wonder, the awe of seeing.
Through my daughters eyes my gift was being passed down. One that I hold so dear.
In seasons where you feel abandoned by Jesus, I assure you you are not. It’s in the quiet we learn to be still. It keeps us fixated on what he will ask of us next.
Each season requires you to be flexible with who you are and where you are going.
The mother I was three years ago is nothing like the one I am today, so why should my relationship with Him remain the same?
The longing of every soul is to feel loved.
Let God do it in different ways, don’t place him in the walls of your glass house so you can watch him.
His predictability is not something you should count on, for if you do you’re sure to be dissatisfied. It’s his wonder and power that you should depend on.