A little update on the circus

My life is like this one big circus that no one pays to see, but if they stuck around just for one day they would want some popcorn, maybe a cold coke and some KitKat bars as they watched me and my five hundred children live life.You guys, it’s been a long time since I’ve blogged and I just want you to know that my heart misses it. Just. so.much.It’s impossible to do a lot of things lately, and my writing has hit the back burner on simmer. I still want to write, it’s just that most days I cannot even keep my eyes open to drive.I’ve missed interacting with my readers, and sharing what is on my heart. I try on Facebook some, as I’m rocking my toddler to sleep. Every second of alone time I get I enjoy doing things like sitting and not using my brain.But enough about that. That is depressing right? You didn’t come here to hear a sob story! No! You came here to be entertained. So I thought it would be fun to do a little update of what my life is like these days. I know it seems like I share a whole lot on Facebook, but there are a lot of things I keep to myself.Let’s talk about my kids first, because with everything else I have going on, they are my favorite.

Asher– Oh man. The kid is ten, which is insane to me, because I was just in labor with him yesterday begging for an epidural at a 7. As I am typing this he is vacuuming the kitchen with his own free will, because he sees a need and just does it. He’s like that. I do not deserve a kid like him, but here I am typing this out while he watches his brother and cleans the kitchen. He is thriving when he has a task, a job. He is driven and doesn’t like to just lay around. I learn more from him in my daily life than most adults I interact with. I struggle with the fact that he is so willing to help, so I ask him for help more than I should. He truly is becoming my friend, and reminds me a lot of his Daddy. I really depend on him as Matt is working so many late nights trying to get jobs done. We are a good team.

Rhema– The girl should have her own TV show. I am not even kidding right now. Earlier Asher was wanting to play a song on his ipad , so he spoke to Alexa and said:

” Alexa, play Post Malone, CLEAN VERSION!’

Rhema overhears this request and yells from the other room-


Not that I make it a habit of letting them listen to this dude, but such is life when your kids are in Public school and like, OUTSIDE THEIR HOME.

Today I told the girls to have a rest time in their room while I laid Luca down for a nap. I walked in to check on them and Rhema was under her covers with reading her Bible. That’s just the kind of girl she is. Always asking questions about Jesus and life in general. She talks about her three siblings in heaven like they are here on Earth.

Rhema likes things a certain way, especially her room. She is forever rearranging things around to be more practical and eliminating chaos. She will be some sort of designer or leader of a Country. Girl knows what she wants and she gets crap done. She also helps a lot with Luca and is willing ( when she wants to be ) to help around the house. She is a great friend to so many little girls, and is super kind hearted. She is the life of the family, and when she is away at a friends house the house is quieter, and lamer.

Adah- Adah is in a season where she is transitioning from being the baby of the family into a little girl. She starts Kindergarten in the Fall and I am a little worried. Socially and Academically she is young for her age, due to me babying her for 5 years. I am not sorry about this because we have snuggled more than any of my other children. So many sweet memories of her glued to my hip. She’s my biggest snuggler which has been hard bringing Luca into the mix. She’s handled stepping down as the baby like a champ, but every now and then I see the repercussions of her love language not being met like it used to be allllll day long. She is hardcore physical touch, and I am not. It was easy when she was my only one that wanted to snuggle, but enter the most demanding baby in the history of ever, her baby bro.

She’s emotional and sweet and growing into such a gorgeous girl. She keeps me on my toes and is constantly wanting my attention. I have to make myself slow down and stop whatever task I am doing to paint her nails or fix her hair. Although those things are LAST to do on my list of a million things, they are important to her. She teaches me daily to lay down my life for her. Like literally, she would rather lay in bed with me all day and snuggle. She’s the sweetest.

Luca- Listen to me, this baby boy was exactly what my heart needed. He completes our family. He is super cute. He is super smart. He is super wild, crazy and really difficult in public. He currently enjoys nursing like a newborn and screaming in shopping carts, running from me at the pool and enjoying strangers food.He knows no limits for how fast he can run without busting his tiny ass. He knows no limits for how well he can swim in water or how well he can walk down stairs. He is constantly either in the toilet with his new toy or my hairbrush.His current favorite pastime is taking off his diaper while I am doing something like trying to get out the door for an appointment. He also enjoys stuffing his mouth with food and then spitting it all out at a restaurant.He is the fourth for a reason. He is so much fun and so much cardio for me at the same time. I am convinced he is trying to keep me in shape by still nursing and running a thousand miles a day to keep up with him.He is loved.__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ I have started getting very busy renting out our home for weddings and events. It’s given me this different purpose in life that I feel like I really needed, aside from being a Mom. I didn’t think I would ever be in this place of feeling like I needed more in my life than raising four children, but here I am. Really enjoying meeting and connecting with talented business women. It’s given me this new pep in my step in a really draining season of Motherhood.Literally working out of a home where we live has its challenges and positive things as well. Making it look like we do not live here for events is always interesting, and I’ve learned that my children cannot be here at all.I’ve learned that they feel violated when strangers are here and they are told to be quiet, or stay upstairs. This is their home first, and my work venue second. I am learning to balance being a Mom, and working. The working isn’t a bad thing, which I’ve had a hard time with mentally. I know that God has placed this in my path, and that what we have been given is a gift that we have to share with our community.Last night a close friend asked me:” If someone were to show up tomorrow and offer you a million dollars for this house, would you sell?I sat for a moment, then answered no.To me this home is the first home I’ve ever felt actually comfortable in. Not afraid, not ashamed, not out of place. It’s where I’ve blossomed into my own skin, and became fearless, bold and a little nuts.It’s so special to me that I feel the need to invite people over , to share it. To make it my forever home, and at the same time my career.I used to be afraid of meeting new people, making new friends or being in a situation where I might feel uncomfortable.Now, I welcome strangers into my home and I am never afraid. I am so at peace with where I am , and who I am that meeting new women is actually fun! I wouldn’t have been able to say that even a year ago, but learning to let go of a lot of things has helped me just embrace people as they are and who they are. The mindset that I’ve been in lately is:I can learn something new from each person I meet.I feel like you have to be in that place of humility to survive and remain sane. Am I right?________________________________________________________ All three of the older kids start a new school in the Fall. We’ve decided on a Charter school , and I’m really excited about their future there. The teachers are enthusiastic and happy to be there, the building is going to be brand new. This will be Adah’s first year in full time school, and she is really excited. I will have a season of only one child at home for most of the day, and I really think that I will have more time to invest in writing my second book, and schedule many more events.I’m also excited to announce I will be starting a Podcast in the Fall. All about adventures in parenting, and running a venue and being a little crazy.It’ll be so much fun!I’ll be sharing about how we keep Jesus the center of our home, and how we teach our children to use their spiritual gifts. How very imperfect we are, and how things can get super crazy around here. About friendships and relationships in general. I’ll do several question-answer sessions and have lots of fun guest speakers. I’m excited to start to interact with you guys again in the blogging world, and soon in the Podcast world.I just wanted to update you guys who I love so much and pray for daily. Thanks for reading!   hubbard  Photo : Tobacco Road Film Company “

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