Moth Balls

The longer I walk with Jesus , the more I see his merciful side. A side of his heart that loves us to our very core, flaws and all … that wants to protect us from falling and scraping our knee. To catch us before we take a wrong turn in life and to place us back on the path to his heart.

Life isn’t always easy, and things don’t always go as planned, but there have been real occasions when he has warned me of an upcoming event. Gently he has nudged my spirit to be cautious. I’d like to share those few stories with you today. I feel that in sharing them you may notice that His voice is very loud in your own life.

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The first time I noticed he was warning my spirit is also the first time I hear his voice audibly.

It was five years ago. We only had one child then , but I longed for more. I longed to have a sister for our son Asher. Standing in the shower, letting the water wash over my tired body, I began to pray for my daughters. I began to speak them out and breathe life to my womb to produce a girl. I began to thank him for giving me daughters. I called out their destinies in the kingdom and after I was finished I heard clear as day in my right ear:

” October.”

Years past and every time October would come around I began to pray for him to reveal to me why He had said that to me years ago. I felt it was a warning , and I believe that he was preparing me for a difficult trial.

October 26, 2012 Adah Harbor was born via emergency c section. He warned me five years prior so that I could intercede for myself. He knew what heartache it would cause me, but I believe he’s a good a just God, so he warned me. Could it have been prevented? I don’t think so, but during those years before it brought me closer to his heart. He didn’t warn me to fix my situation. He warned me to draw me closer. The unknown of following him keeps me on my toes.

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A couple of weeks ago I felt a pull in my spirit to submit some writing to be a guest blogger on a high traffic site. Some short stories, some already written blog posts. I thought about it all day, the thought of actually making a small amount of money to contribute to our family brought a smile to my face. I felt a confidence I had never had before. I knew God was teaching me it was ” ok” to be confident in my work.

I tucked the kids in bed, grabbed a mug of chamomile tea and got to work. I typed up a short biography, and began copying and pasting my submissions to be a guest blogger. It stirred up something in me that I’d never felt before. A healthy pride in my work and this excitement for what could be.

Two hours later, I felt good about hitting send, but I stopped. Sitting there I started to sweat and my heart started to race.

” No Rachel!”

I felt this sinister feeling, as if if I hit send my work would be stolen or misused. It was a clear red flag in my very being.

I sat there for a couple minutes in silence, almost as if I was waiting for Jesus to change his mind. Come on. Lord, it wouldn’t hurt to try. Why did you allow me to spend all this time working on something you were going to put a stop to?

And he said :

:: It’s ready to go to someone else, isn’t it?!::

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This last one is very different. He’s spoken to me in many ways, but never with my nose. Never with a scent. So before you write me off as insane, just listen. Actually I don’t mind if you think I’m insane. But what I want you to notice is that Jesus can speak however he wants, we just need to take notice of what He is doing.

Speaking with a group of friends at the dinner table, we began to talk about a particular person in which needed protection. I’m not a confrontational person what’s so ever, so confronting people is NOT my strong point. I’m working on this.

In mid conversation I got a gust of a scent in my nose. It was the strong smell of all things to smell, moth balls.

There were no elderly women at the table, and to my knowledge this couple does not use moth balls because they are not 67 years old. Immediately I said aloud:

” um. Does anyone smell moth balls?!”

My friend across from me raised his hand and it was then I knew I was smelling moth balls for reasons not of the elderly. But of heaven.

We kept talking about protecting this person from devouring people and it hit me. I was smelling moth balls because what do they do? What’s their purpose.

To protect the fabric. To keep these insects from eating holes out of our favorite jackets and pants. They are necessary tool in our closets. But closets without them we are subject to holey pants. It was then I felt like Jesus was giving me permission to be a moth ball.

Lol. But seriously , he was telling me to protect this person from a devouring spirit. I was to speak up, to protect, to cover. As soon as I said aloud why I was smelling the moth balls the scent went away. Thankfully, because I was ready to eat my dinner without smelling that musty smell.

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The fact is that He is so creative. And wants to teach us and guide us in ways that we can’t even begin to understand. But I want to . I want to understand how He works. I want to be so close to his heart that I understand it , and live my life out of that place. Aren’t we all hungry for more of his heart?

Maybe you’ve felt in the past him warning your spirit, but you wrote it off as just a coincidence. Maybe you’ve never noticed when he speaks in unusual ways. Today I challenge you to notice. To ask him to speak to you in creative ways.

My prayer for you is that it’s not the moth balls you smell, but maybe a different scent, a scent you know is from him. My prayer for you is that you will know him in a very real way today, and that He directs you to his heart. Moth balls and all.

My prayer for you is that you get to proudly wear your favorite sweater, without holes in its fabric because you know how to protect it.