The movie theatre was pitch black, the only lights were along the walkways to the seats. Holding our first son, only a few months old, we watched our first movie in months. He was still in the stage of sleeping on my chest, whenever and wherever. We knew a movie would be a piece of cake without getting a sitter. He came along, and seemed to enjoy it as he slept and nursed the entire time.
As we were exiting the theatre , my husband grabbed my hand as we locked eyes, we said almost simultaneously:
” Lets just have one!”
As the years went on , we had no desire for another. We were content with just our son, until a surprise came along, 2 1/2 years later. On birth control, I became pregnant with our second child. I handed the positive pregnancy test to our son to hand to Daddy.
” Daddy WOOK! Mommy have a baby!”
And it was then I knew, I was a baby making machine. Destined to be obsessed with the newborn scent. If that stuff could be bottled, I would purchase it black market style. It’s good for the soul.
Growing up I was the oldest of six children. We lived in a single wide trailer for ten of my childhood years. The most popular question I got growing up, and as an adult was this:
” OH MY GOSH! You must have fought ALL THE TIME!”
They are always shocked at my answer, and quickly stunned.
” Actually no. We hardly EVER fought, that’s the truth. We learned that life wasn’t just about one person ( yourself ) . We had to compromise to keep order. We had to serve each other, and love unconditionally. We had to share a small space, and we learned to make it work. As The oldest I learned how to take care of younger siblings, as the help my parents. It became a pleasure to serve for me. It made me the mother and wife that I am today. Compromising. Learning that life is more than the space you live in, and how nice your furniture is. What matters is your heart towards your family. That I had down. That I could do. I could serve, and I could love. I learned to take into account others feelings, and short comings. Living in a small space, you are able to get to know people well. That we did. I think that is why there wasn’t any room for fighting. It would only take up more space that was meant for loving. “
As you can see I had issues with keeping my hair clean. This was the stone ages before dry shampoo was invented. At least I think so. At least I know that makes me feel better. This is all of us here. I remember in this particular photo how mad I was at my parents. I was grounded from seeing a boy almost twice my age, sure I was in love. Instead of pouting my parents took us to a local park where we had a cookout. Just us. I ended up enjoying my siblings company, and forgetting about said stupid jerk, and eating too many Oreo’s.
Life was always better with these people
We learned to love in a way that didn’t require applause , or affirmation. We loved because that’s all we knew.
Over time my sisters became my built in best friends. We are all so different its no wonder people asked if one or two of us was adopted. Different yes, but selfish : no . Who can learn to be selfish in a single wide trailer? 4 to one room? There wasn’t room to be a jerk. We got along because we had to. In return it taught us to serve others, and the unending love of Christ. We loved because that is what we were taught to do. In the end, that is what we do now. We love.
When one of our sisters was gone to Africa for way too long, the whole family embraced her at the airport. I may have attacked first because she was coming to live with us. I put a mint on her pillow and everything. No I didn’t. But I should have. She deserves all the mints in the world, that Jobe girl.
Theres nothing like being these women’s older sister. They are my hands and feet when I cannot be the me that I was 5 years ago. They help raise my children. They are selfless, and they are kind.
Below was Matt’s first Fathers day with more than one child to hold. We made him pancakes and showered him with kisses. The kid with the paci has changed his life in more ways than one. She can get her way with him in a heartbeat. I am afraid of the day she asks to go out on a date with Jason from chem class. Jason will be a no good son of a gun in Daddys eyes, and Daddy may end up behind bars if he catches them kissing on the front porch swing. That’s a warning Jason.
It wasn’t long before we knew we wanted another baby. A sister for our Rhema. The need for my daughter to experience the deep friendship I have with my sisters was immense. I prayed and prayed, and we practiced the humpty dumpty for 7 months. Matt wasn’t upset about this, as I was tracking when I was fertile. It was like a game I never won. Not until one morning a trusty test revealed we would have another angel.
I knew she would be a girl in my heart. A sister for our Rhema Zoae. At 10 weeks, on the way home from an Anniversary trip to the beach we named her. The name seemed right. When the ultrasound confirmed my feelings towards the sex of our baby I sobbed on the ultrasound table. A dream come true. My daughters, friends. Forever.
This pregnancy I knew would be my last full term baby I would carry. I savored every kick, every move and flutter.
Now we have three gorgeous babies earthside. Gods intervention to allow us to have them is truly a blessing.
Tonight putting them all to bed, they begged to sleep in one room together. A smile ran across my face as I remembered the countless nights we slept side by side. In the dark of the night we would tell secrets and share stories. There was nothing that could have replaced the love of a sibling for me.
Being a sibling taught me selfless love. It taught me that I wasn’t the only child that had a need, or a want. It taught me respect, and a love for boundaries. Healthy ones that shape our self esteem. My siblings are more than siblings to me.
They are my friends.
7 thoughts on “Why we have more than one child.”
Beautiful post! We have three kids also and they are the best if friends! Especially my two girls 😉
ArEnt susters so much fun? I love having a boy first. He is their protector 🙂
They are fun! We had our boy last but it us so sweet to watch the girls love kn a d take care if him! I think he will become their protector as he gets older! At least I am counting in it, these girls are gorgeous and so.eone has to help keep the boys away 😉
This was so beautifully written. I have 3 biological children … and two step-daughters who live with me full-time and two foster children who have been part of our family for close to four months. I don’t know that I ever set out to be the mom of seven children, but what I keep learning is that there is always, always room for one more child at the table.
Thats incredible Paige! What a blessing you are to those children!
I always hope I am a blessing to them … but the strangest thing is how much of a blessing they are to me. It’s not really been easy (none of it … parenting, step-parenting, foster parenting), but somehow (though I promise you it defies logic) in spite of the intense sort of stretching this mommy gig continually puts me through, I’m the one who keeps getting blessed. 🙂
Amen and amen!!!!!0