I came to Redding California claiming healing for my physical body. I always have an agenda in mind. He always gracefully changes it.
I will go into their healing rooms. I will receive intense prayer and have awesome times with my Father in a place that is so anointed . It will wreck my life and my mind sets . I will receive revelation from another person about my life and and and and and and…..
I will be healed.
Immediately just being here, in the presence of my sweet best friend calmed my spirit. I was finally able to relax and just be . I wasn’t burdened with situations at home I could not control. I wasn’t worried about my health , but I was expectant he would heal me.
In this season of my life I have asked The Lord to reveal to me lies I’ve been believing and why.
It’s no secret I had a difficult time with the way Adah was born. It’s been a process that Jennifer understands was intense for me. She has seen me walk out of it . But I was still tired. Still striving for his relief.
Standing in the kitchen preparing for Thanksgiving meal , drinking wine and laughing at ourselves the Holy Spirit came. We began to discuss how believing lies effects our bodies and opens the door for the enemy to come in .
” But what lies am I believing about my body? It’s not like I really think about them while I’m doing laundry and changing diapers…. How do I go about addressing them?”
It hit me like a hammer on a nail , right into my spirit.
I was punishing my body for not birthing Adah in the way I saw fit. I was poisoning my mind by allowing lie after lie to creep in.
We stopped baking fatty , delicious and sinful desserts and went to a room where we could pray. We laid on the bed and began to invite Holy Spirit to speak. He always speaks when we ask.
We sat there in silence for a minute then I began saying aloud lies that he brought to my mind:
My body is too small to birth a child naturally
My body is ruined for natural childbirth after a c section
That was my last chance to see a dream fulfilled
I asked him aloud what he wanted to replace those lies with and he quickly said it:
I am to praise him. I am to praise my body for what it is. To forgive it for letting me down. To allow it to gain weight. To allow it to be healthy.
I am worthy of a healthy body. I will not punish it any longer because it hasn’t been what I thought it needed to be. How it needed to perform.
We prayed a while longer and all the while I felt better and better and better saying those lies aloud and replacing them with what his truth says about me.
I could physically feel a weight and expectation of myself being lifted.
He wants me to love my body. He wants me to value my body.
If we never value something, won’t we overlook it? Won’t we put it on the bank burner of our minds?
After we were through praying I stood up and Jennifer said :
” Your face has changed. You looked rested and more alive.”
I feel more alive. I feel encouraged. Only because he was so faithful to reveal to us what needed to take place.
When we ask, we will receive. But we have to put our agendas aside and just trust. Just listen to his spirit. He is here to bring us freedom.